What will you do?

Have you ever wonder what to do when your own plans, your own life, your own emotions and your own-self fucked you up?

Over Consumed

Exhausted... but I like it this way.

Been extremely busy with work, school, and work.

Total time in a week :
24hrs*7 days
:168hrs a week
-40 hrs of studying per week
-18 hrs of homework/project per week
-12 hrs of classes per week
-20 hrs of work per week
-13 hrs to church related activities per week
-28 hours of daily chore per week (4 hrs per day)
____________________
37 hrs left for sleep per week
____________________

On average, I have 5 hrs sleep per night!! I need to catch up with some zzzzz

My body is totally over consumed by the "Busy-ness" of life

Security

I just want to be like the little kitty...feeling secure in the "big guy's" embrace.

Not sustainable

Confessions...

I have been super busy since after I broke up recently. It is obviously not because I have to do the stuff Im doing.... it is just because I want to keep myself busy to run away from the reality of going through a break up.

Surprisingly, I've been very very honest with myself and I do admit my weaknesses. In fact, accepting them pretty well. But, accepting something does not always mean I will do something or make a change about it.

Running away is the perfect way..but WILL IT HELP TO HEAL?

The life I am going through now is not gonna be sustainable. I will be tired, frustrated, drained, and burned out.... It is just a matter of time.

Slowly

Many times I think that I am killing myself slowly...

It is 5am on a Friday morning and I am still awake. It is not because I cant sleep...I dare not to go to bed and get haunted by nightmares...my past, my present, myself. I slept for 5hrs yesterday nite and I am still up until now...

I have no idea how long this is gonna continue...

Again and again...

I am thinking again....

deep deep thoughts about my life, my past, my existance...who am I? where do I really belong?

I wish I have answers to all these questions. I am frustrated and tired of having to figure out all these thoughts ...

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A DEEP THINKER?
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SOOOOO COMPLICATED?
WHY CANT I JUST BE A SIMPLE GIRL?

I am doubting everything about me, myself and I .... sooo frustrated!!

Nov 13, 2006

I thought of blogging today.

It has been a long while since I blogged and I realised that when I try to customize my template , I accidenatally deleted all the blogspot contacts I have; therefore, I am now left with just the basic stuff.

Starting off fresh...all new =)