The Story

~*Im learning to withdraw myself....from everything.~*

Learning to talk less and keep more privacy to myself...
learning to LOVE myself more, trust myself more, and be my own friend.

Silence, many times, makes perfection. .SILENCE is golden.... if someone wants to know more bout me....look into my eyes and am sure they will hear the unspoken words.

Im reading this book...FEEL sooo much for it... as if the books is a person...it knows exactly how i feel...how i think...and even more..it has spoken the thoughts that I never known how to put into words.

I might be a changed person since im back, not sure is it a good thing..but at least im happy for now. I am learning to be less realistic and learn to understand the GREY area of life....i am so into surviving for passion...i want to burst upon the city like fireworks... one day....one day...i want to be like that.. to shine and put a smile on those ppl who knows how to appreciate me...

"if u know me well enuf....u know im not a positive person...i live in the PAST of memories.... thats the only thing that keeps me going...cos i want to make something happy out of it...to turn those sadness into precious moments...without those moments..ill not be a "beautiful swam" today ......am dreaming again..caught between my dream and the reality..."

"I live day by day...aimlessly...as if i dont belong here...neither i know where i belong..but it is ok..one day, one day...ill find my existence and even if i dont, at least, you acknowledge my presence here."

by Wei Hui

"XIN XUE LAI CHAO"

*XIN XUE LAI CHAO* is a chinese saying meaning (direct translation) "heart blood come suddenly" which normally use to describe the feeling of wanting to do something out of a RUSH feeling.

I am describing myself as that. Many times the reason I blog because of some usual "occasion" that is happening in my life...no exception for this time =) not to mention what, ill keep it as a secret. As i mentioned, things dont have to be SUPER clear, right?? To add some excitements in life is to keep life interesting by participating in some Guessing Games......waiting to be answered.

Called Yuk Shan a few days ago and if she is reading this blog, she will be laughing. GOOD TIMING huh girl!! yes, it is always about timing. I miss hanging around with girls... just to catch up with each others and talk for hours without knowing the time. The best thing is still talking about the past, how we grew up, our stories in school and of cause our guys' stories. Girls, i miss that =)

As im back in Ipoh now, I drove around those places i used to hang out....much much memories. I miss this small lil city but at the same time, this is not the place i want to be in for the rest of my life...Short-term, no problem...no questions asked...long-term, forget it.

1) Ipoh Parade - left the most memo....of cos guys related but only one guy. 2-and-a-half yrs of memories.
2) Jusco - girls related...miss the weekly girls' hang out.
3) Ipoh Public Library - that was where i got my SPM results. aaha...
4) KFC Canning Gdn - yes, i "studied" there b4 with a very special friend.
5) CGMC Canning Gdn - Kapten Ball & "group-study".
6) Ave Maria Convent - my old old old school

many more places...but those were the most memorable places ever....ill try to post up come pics if i have the chance to drive around and shoot some pics for my MEMO portfolio.ahahah...

Time to Come Back

Back to bloggin mood...but duno where to start.

Im still in Msia...yes, stucked here...or should i say, i choose to be here..One word, i duno what am i doing, but i like the way it is now. Many times, things do not have to be super clear, there is always the grey area, right'? Am totally in a very complicated situation here - "home". Way to describe home is...H O M E. im still me, they are still family members ....and also there are still men and women out there. Some friends actually describe me as "You are still the JASMINE we known for ages". For people who have known me since secondary school will know what i mean by "IM STILL JASMINE".

Some old friends said that i always make my life complicated. I dont see it that way. i will only say....complication makes things interesting....but it depends on the situation =)
yes, i admit, it is complicated but....at least, i know what is happening and dealing with it with no regrets....or is it so? i dont really know the answer... at least, im happy, for now.

After all, im really taking in the idea of ~*No PaIn, No GaIn*~